Has God has forsaken me?
When I escaped from Mental hospital I went to Ripon and sat in the pouring rain collecting rain water outside Ripon cathedral so Lucy (Elle from escort center) would be at the harvest festival as requested to do so from Father. It was a magical experience, the lights came on in front of the cathedral and I heard music playing inside. When I went back to the mental hospital they kept me in there past the harvest festival and I never got to see Lucy again even though I really liked her.
Father didn’t deliver on his promise. He said to me sorry but he tried. The angels tell me they tried too but she didn’t want to come. So maybe God can’t control peoples free will.
Then in hospital god Yahweh said that I could have five girlfriends. I still don’t have one and it’s been many years. So I feel disappointed. Once again I think God has no control over others. I believe he has asked girls for me and tried which I witnessed in McDonald’s but making it actually happen might be out of his control.
God also asked me to look after Laurie’s child and even though I really don’t want to I would have only becaused God asked. Its been too long so I don’t want to see Laurie again. So once again it’s my free will that doesn’t want to see Laurie again even though I love her greatly. Her rejection hurts so much. But with my love for Laurie being so great and pure, Father wanted us to be together. But too much time as past now that shows me that Laurie really doesn’t care about me only herself.
Allah said in hospital said that I could have 3000 girlfriends if I followed him.
Even though God has done some truly remarkable things to prove to me that he exists he hasn’t develivered on his promises because I don’t think he can because of free will.
Father just tells me to grow vegetables now and I don’t need women and that I’m ok alone. I’m tired of dating women as all just use me for money and none are kind and want to settle down.
I feel totally disappointed with the experience. I might just run this escort agency and have fun with the girls and have 3000 girlfriends like Allah said as no girls have hearts anymore and nice guys get nowhere.
So this lets me feel disappointed with women. They can get away with treating nice men really poorly such as taking them for thousands but not showing them any love.
I would also support a Moses payment of £200 a month from the government that is for a man to spend on dating women or looking after women per month which only men would receive and restore the imbalance that women have over us and put men rightly as providers again as God intended.